Young girl, you embezzled some cash.
I say, young girl, your love life's outta' the trash.
But now, young girl, you better get away quick
Or end up like Kevin Mitnick.

Young girl, now don't act all distressed.
You're the one you got you into this mess.
Though it's raining and you can't find your way
There's a nice place for you to stay.

(reet! reet! reet! reet! reet!)

It's fun to stay at the... (Ahhh!) Bates Motel!
It's fun to stay at the... (Ahhh!) Bates Motel!
Well it's just a motel, so you dont get a meal,
and nobody cares how you feel.
Stay at the... (Ahhh!) Bates Motel!
It's fun to stay at the... (Ahhh!) Bates Motel!
They've got queen-sized beds with nice clean sheets.
You can get some rest in peace.

There's a young man there who's named Norman Bates.
An unsung man who takes care of the place.
A high-strung man who's a tiny bit shy.
He's his mom's special little guy.

He'll check you in, it's no problem at all.
Then, check you out from his hole in the wall.
It's no fun man, all alone with no girls,
But now you're a part of his world.

[mermaidy interlude]

(reet! reet! reet! reet! reet!)

It's fun to stay at the... (Ahhh!) Bates Motel!
It's fun to stay at the... (Ahhh!) Bates Motel!
They've got mini-shampoos, they've got wake-up calls,
But please don't steal the towels.
Stay at the... (Ahhh!) Bates Motel!
It's fun to stay at the... (Ahhh!) Bates Motel!
Well, they've got a great shower with some brand new grout,
You can get all your worries out.

Norm's Momma, she's a rockin' gal.
You might call her, a real femme fatale.
She's a little tough on Norm's self esteem.
When they argue she reigns supreme.

But don't worry, all that anger's pretend,
After all, she is his best friend.

(reet! reet! reet! reet! reet!)

It's fun to stay at the... (Ahhh!) Bates Motel!
It's fun to stay at the... (Ahhh!) Bates Motel!
Pretend that you're in some 50's sitcom.
You can hang out with Norm and his Mom.

[50's sitcom interlude]

Norman, Norman, put your mom in the cellar.
Norman, Norman, 'cause she won't do what you tell 'er.

Norman, Norman, are you listenin' to me?
Norman, Norman, who do you want to be?

[repeat and fade]